This is a crime scene
Actually, I’m not exactly sure it’s right here, but it’s somewhere around here.
The crime? The awful, unlawful removal of a cardboard cutout of an RCMP officer.
The only thing left now . . . an outline of his body in the snow.
Well, not really I drew the outline myself.
But you get the idea.
The missing RCMP officer: Much like this one we found at another Kelowna elementary school.
Codenamed Constable Warren Ing, who serves as a warning for drivers to slow down in school zones.
So, with the cardboard constable kidnapped, it was time to launch my own investigation
My first rate detective skills lead me to a coffee shop, but there were no police officers there.
My superior sleuthing skills then told me to stake out the local donut shop
It was like a Hardy Boys mystery and I was Nancy Drew, but then my stomach got the best of me, so I ordered a dozen donuts.
I was halfway through a chocolate éclair when it came to me: I know where all the cardboard cutouts hang out and cut loose
Prospera Place has a sort of cardboard wall of fame.
Billy Idol, Don Cherry and Rod Stewart, but no sign of constable Warren Ing.
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Over at the cop shop, the police have their work cut out for them.
Leads in the case are thin, much like Constable Ing.
And so the call has gone out for public assistance
I decided to talk to my contacts in the criminal underworld, but I don’t have any so I had to talk to people on the street instead.
Have you seen this man before?
“No, I have not.”
Are you sure? Take a good look.
“Nope, definitely not.”
Then a break in the case, sort of
I run up to a cop car downtown.
Do you guys know anything about Constable Warren Ing?
He laughs and says no.
But you are on the case, right?
“Yeah, we are on it. Just be careful of the traffic.”
Out on the street, Kelowna RCMP with a show of force downtown as they partrol the streets for any sign of the missing officer . . . I mean cardboard cutout.
While Constable Ing may be somewhat stiff and not very flexible, he is good at his job, and that’s warning motorists to slow down in school zones.
All joking aside, if you need a card board sign to remind you to slow down in a school zone, you shouldn’t be out on the road.
The safety of these children is everyone’s responsibility, so, please, if you are driving in a school zone slow down.
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